Shattered lives of an unlived fantasy.
I hear the breeze, but cannot feel the warmth.
Flowers bloom, but do not smile.
Lost at sea, I drift awhile.
Life goes by, yet I remain the same.
The beast within, I cannot tame.
A hidden world you cannot see.
One moment in time.
A lifetime to me.
I smell your hair, yet you’re not there.
Sweetness left empty.
I live in despair.
Memories and dreams.
What is real?
A life of fantasy not revealed.
Still I go on.
A broken man.
Or just lines in the sand.
I scream in the air, curse at the sky.
Angry filled fury, ready to die.
I fight and I kick, not holding back.
Down on my knees, ready to attack.
I strike at the ground, pound on my chest.
Fight to the death, I give it my best.
Violence unleashed, rage in my heart.
Control the beast, must play it smart.
Flesh is gashed, blood is spilled.
Instincts take over, do not get killed.
I ravage my enemy, take his last breath.
Life is my reward, his is death.
The crowd clears away, I return to my den.
Rest and recover, before it begins again.
That’s what I say
Every time I look at my life
Every time I see my face
Stuck is this self-imposed rut
Unwilling to move forward
Unwilling to make a change
Dying to be free yet scared to let go
Suffering for no reason
Suffering from the truth
Why must I make my life this way
Trapped within myself
Trapped in this never ending nightmare
And all I can say is damn it
Damn who I am
Damn what I have become
Damn it all
Damn it forever
Damn the monster I have created
And still all I can say is damn it
The day starts as light begins.
I look around, but find no one there.
Alone in a world that I have created.
Protected from reality and judgment.
This is my life, this is my sadness.
No one takes notice because no one cares.
Who am I and why am I here?
A question asked without a clear answer.
My life is a mess and I have no reason to live.
I cannot go on lost in this world.
Everyday utterly alone.
Drifting down the black river of despair.
My fate is cursed and destiny destroyed.
This is not the life I wanted.
Perhaps in acceptance I might find comfort.
Some form of peace, a chance to rest my soul.
Surrender my spirit to death.
To end my inner struggle for happiness once and for all.
I am consumed by the essence that is you.
My breath is taken and my heart is still.
Why do you not see your beauty?
You weep in sorrow, yet do not see that I share your pain.
Too consumed by tragedy to see a new possibility.
Open your eyes sweet butterfly.
Know that in sadness you are never alone.
Fight to find your inner light and all that is you.
Glow like the sun so that I might be embraced by your warmth.
Together now and for eternity.
Two incomplete souls united as one.
An endless romance that rivals the stars.
Shine bright my star.
May your breath be taken and your heart mended so that I might possess your love.
How do I get rich form blogging? Can anyone tell me? All the articles on the internet make is sound so simple, but in reality it is very difficult. The articles lead you to believe that all you have to do is write and readers will follow. They give you some guidance, but in all reality it is not enough to get anything started at all. I have tried blogging on several occasions (this being yet another attempt) and each time I fail to gain the readership I am looking for. All I want to do is write for a living! I wish there was a simple answer to my problem. But here I am yet again trying my hand at blogging once again hoping that I will touch on a topic that will catch fire! That one article that will travel the blog-o-sphere and get me noticed. Sadly I know it will not happen. I will continue to blog and continue to write, but I know my efforts will be for not. I guess that is ok, because at least it gives me an outlet to vent. And if no one reads it, so what! I don’t know, maybe someone will read this and maybe they will take the time to comment? But at the end of the day I know this is just another blog.
An empty stare of sadness fills my heart.
I look through my eyes as though I have already passed.
Black and gray shadows cast upon a once vibrant canvas.
How did this happen?
What waste of life have I become?
A tortured soul left to rot in this shell of a man.
The world continues forward, yet I remain still.
Stuck in this darkness, this lost realm of despair.
Falling faster and faster into the unknown.
Oh how I miss the color.
That burning passion to thrive and experience all that is real.
Forever pleading with myself not to give up.
Searching for that one speck of light.
A single drop of hope.
But alas there is none.
I am but a dried-up paint set without a story.
A canvas that has been whitewashed and discarded.
Forever in black and gray shadows I shall remain.
Awhile back I created a blog based upon some of my art. It never really took off, but I figured it was with mentioning here I hopes that maybe this will generate some side traffic. I you have any questions about the blog, just shoot me a comment and ask away! Thanks in advance!
FACES OF A MADMAN
Falling down the upward staircase.
One step at a time, each moment of my life.
The harder I try, the faster it all slips away.Why do I try?
Why do I continue to fight?
Marvelously bright light at the top and vast darkness at the bottom.
And here I am, stuck in the middle.
Constantly fighting and falling.
Struggling to survive.
Damn you staircase!
If only you would stop moving, perhaps I might be able to catch my step!
How do you find balance in a world that won’t stop moving?
How do I make this downward spiral stop?
Maybe I should just let go.
Give into the darkness and all that it hides.
Let it consume me and end my pain.
Accept that resistance is futile and my future is lost.
But alas, I cannot give up.
I am bound by this staircase, this never ending nightmare.
This vicious cycle that is my life.
To proud to give up, yet too weak to break free.
And so I remain.
Trapped for eternity.
Falling down the upward staircase.
So today is finally Friday! It should be a good day, but I live with anxiety and depression, which cause me a lot of stress. I have created this blog is hopes of finding a way to help with the stress. I figure I can write what I want and how I feel and maybe just maybe someone out there will relate and find some enjoyment is reading my blogs.
I have to admit that I am not a very big writer at the moment, so this may be painfully slow to get this started. I am sure there will be lots of rambling and nonsense, but hey it is my blog so I can post what I want right?
So if you happen to be reading this, give me a shout! Leave a comment! Ask me a question! Hell, do whatever you want! Life is short right! That is something that I just need to remember!